Friday, September 12, 2008

ApocalypseMart

Another story from NotAlwaysRight (Possibly the best one yet)

(It’s Halloween, and I’m dressed up as a vampire and wearing a pentacle necklace. The crew is planning on going out after work for a party.)

Me: “Did you find everything you needed tonight?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. Can I just say that I think it was very nice of them to let you all dress up for tonight? I really like what you have on.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am.”

Customer: “But don’t you think you took it a little too far?”

Me: “Uh… took what too far?”

Customer: “Well I understand that you’re supposed to be some type of vampire, but don’t you think that necklace is taking it too far?”

Me: “Oh, that. That’s not part of my costume, I always wear that.”

Customer: *loudly* “Well if you want to risk burning in H*** for wearing that devil worshiping symbol, that’s just fine with me… but they shouldn’t be letting you wear that here in a public place!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Well, why shouldn’t they let me wear it? After all, we all practice together and I’m the high priestess. In fact as soon as you leave, we’re gonna close up the store, start a bonfire in the parking lot, and then dance naked around it until dawn.”

Customer, to one of my managers: “Aren’t you going to do anything about what she said to me?”

Manager #1: “Yes, ma’am. As soon as you leave, we’re going to close the store.”

Customer: “THAT’S IT?!”

Manager #2: “Of course not, ma’am. You heard the rest of our… plans.”

(And with the kind of timing that only happens once in a lifetime, a stock boy unwittingly walks out of the back room while taking his uniform shirt off at the same time. The customer practically runs out of the store.)


Source

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

D&D Made Simple

For Real?

Fan made perhaps? It does remind of the viral marketing for The Dark Knight...

Children vs Teachers

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell?
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray

Take only ONE. God is watching.

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,

Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


More

Mac Upgrade

Source: Unsure...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

In-flight entertainment

If you’re sitting next to someone on a plane who irritates you, try doing this:

  1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
  2. Remove your laptop.
  3. Start it up.
  4. Make sure the fellow traveller who is annoying you can see the screen.
  5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips like you are praying.
  6. Then click here.
Source

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Warhammer 40k

And all of it's tropes... (which are a lot)
If you don't know 40k or tropes, this is a good a place as any to start.

One of them gives a good description of the universe and the associated tropes:
Trope Overdosed (We reiterate: 40k contains examples of damn near everything, most of it trying to kill you.)

Wikihistory

This is what will happen if we invent time travel...