Campaign ending

This story about a dnd campaign is probably one of the most epic things I've read in the last few weeks...

Motivational Poster

A sample from a rather large collection of motivational posters I've gathered over the past year. I thought it might be best to let my players know what they can expect for tomorrow's session.

Source: I forgot...

Stupid DND monsters

Part one
Part two

DnD Character or Skin Disease

Skin Disease or Dungeons and Dragons Character?

Score: 81% (13 out of 16)

Being a bio-engineer kinda helped with this, but it was still surprisingly hard...

SCP

4th edition review

A review for the newest version of dnd.
I'm not sure lyrical covers this....

Mr. Welch

Things he cannot do during a roleplaying game:

10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.

49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.

87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana.

90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay

106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.

112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.

124. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.

136. I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills.

168. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.

171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"

417. The solution to all my problems is not Crinos.

Read the rest here

Examples of Play

A few stories to illustrate the true nature of role playing...

This would be funny, if I didn't recognize the situation sometimes.

Diary

Some of my fellow roleplayers started an online dairy for a new Forgotten Realms campaign:

Jareth's Diary
Vorel's Diary

And as if I could resist:

Southside Tales

The Munchkin Test

(1) You are NOT a munchkin if you roll 3d6 for stats.
You MAY be a munchkin if you roll 4d6 and drop the lowest.
You ARE a munchkin if you roll 4d6 and keep *all four*.

(2) You are NOT a munchkin if you play a fighter with a normal sword.
You MAY be a munchkin if you play a fighter with a +5 sword.
You ARE a munchkin if you play a *thief* with a +5 sword.

(3) You are NOT a munchkin if your familiar is a black cat.
You MAY be a munchkin if your familiar is an imp.
You ARE a munchkin if your familiar is an intelligent, spell
casting Sphere of Annihilation.

(4) You are NOT a munchkin if you can kill an orc in one round.
You MAY be a munchkin if you can kill a tribe of orcs in one
round.
You ARE a munchkin if you can kill Orcus in one round.

(5) You are NOT a munchkin if you play a half-orc.
You MAY be a munchkin if you play a half-elf.
You ARE a munchkin if you play a half-tarrasque.

(6) You are NOT a munchkin if you have a Decanter of Endless Water.
You MAY be a munchkin if you have a Rod of Treasure Detection.
You ARE a munchkin if you have a Ring of Infinite Wishes.

(7) You are NOT a munchkin if you have a Potion of Plant Control.
You MAY be a munchkin if you have a Potion of Giant Control.
You ARE a munchkin if you have a Potion of DM Control.

(8) You are NOT a munchkin if you say... "Wow... I've never even
heard of that magic item..."
You MAY be a munchkin if you say... "Those are great... too bad
I used up the other one I found"
You ARE a munchkin if you say... "Put it in the bag with the
other ones..."

(9) You are NOT a munchkin if you mourn a character's death.
You MAY be a munchkin if you don't mourn a character's death.
You ARE a munchkin if you don't understand the concept of
character death.

(10) You are not a munchkin if you know of a Wand of Wonder.
You may be a Munchkin if you use a Wand of Wonder.
You are a munchkin if you MADE a Wand of Wonder.

(11) You are not a munchkin if you enjoy adventuring in towns.
You may be a munchkin if you don't enjoy adventuring in towns.
You are a munchkin if you enjoy removing towns from the map.

(12) You are not a munckin if your favourite AD&D weapon is a Rapier.
You may be a munchkin if your favourite AD&D weapon is a Vorpal
Sword.
You are a munchkin if your favourite AD&D weapon is a shotgun.

(13) You are not a munchkin if you make characters up for enjoyment.
You may be a munchkin if you make characters up for something to
do.
You are a munchkin if you make characters up to use up all the
18's you "rolled".

(14) You are not a munchkin if you based a character on Catti-Brie.
You may be a munchkin if you based a character on Drizzt
do-Urden.
You are a munchkin if you based a character on Lloth.

(15) You are not a munchkin if you own many AD&D supplements.
You may be a munchkin if you own ALL AD&D supplements.
You are a munchkin if you owned all AD&D supplements before you
started playing AD&D.

(16) You are not a munchkin if you fear the Tarrasque.
You may be a munchkin if you defeated the Tarrasque.
You are a munchkin if you domesticated the Tarrasuqe.

(17) You are not a munchkin if you haggle over the price of a room.
You may be a munchkin if you haggle over the price of the Inn.
You are a munchkin if you don't need to haggle over the price of
the Inn.

(18) You are not a munchkin if you play a Human Cleric.
You may be a munchkin if you play an Elven Bard.
You are a munchkin if you play an Illithid Pscionicist.

(19) You are not a munchkin if you cast Magic Missile.
You may be a munchkin if you cast Chain Lightning.
You are a mucnhkin if you cast Chain Minute Meteors.

(20) You are NOT a munchkin if your heart has been broken by an elf
maid.
You MAY be a munchkin if you sword has been broken decapitating a
dragon.
Your ARE a munchkin if a Tarrasque has been broken running into
you.

(21) You are NOT a munchkin if your bard writes bad poetry.
You MAY be a munchkin if your PC writes Royal Edicts.
You ARE a munchkin if your PC wrote the Bible.

(22) You are NOT a munchkin if your cleric prays to Ilmater.
You MAY be a munchkin if your cleric prays to Bane.
Your ARE a munchkin if Bane prays to your cleric.

(23) You are NOT a munchkin if your PC dreams of someday meeting
Elminster.
You MAY be a munchkin if your PC dreams of someday being
Elminster.
You ARE a munchkin if your PC vaguely remembers killing
Elminster.

(24) You are NOT a munchkin if your fighter is a Peasant Hero.
You MAY be a munchkin if your fighter is a Samurai.
You ARE a munchkin if your fighter is a Cavalier.

(25) You are NOT a munchkin if your mage has 20 Charisma.
You MAY be a munchkin if your mage has 20 Dexterity.
You ARE a munchkin if your mage has 20 Strength.

(26) You are NOT a munchkin if you quest to kill young red dragons.
You MAY be a munchkin if you quest to kill ancient red dragons.
You ARE a munchkin if you randomly encounter ancient red dragons.

(27) You are NOT a munchkin if you wield two daggers.
You MAY be a munchkin if you wield two scimitars.
You ARE a munchkin if you wield two halberds.

(28) You are NOT a munchkin if you ride a mule.
You MAY be a munchkin if you ride a heavy warhorse.
You ARE a munchkin if you ride a Nightmare.

(29) You are NOT a Munchkin if you say "It looks like a big ball!".
You MAY be a Munchkin if you say "It looks like a ball with
tentacles and eyes!"
You ARE a Munchkin if you say "It looks like a Beholder, and it's
eyes do death ray, disintegrate, color spray...."

(29a)You are not a Munchkin if you say "It looks like a ball with
tentacles and eyes!"
You MAY be a Munchkin if you say "It looks like a Beholder, and
it's eyes do death ray, isintegrate, colour spray...."
You ARE a Munchkin if you say "It's a Beholder and now I can make
wands that do death ray, disintegrate, color spray...."

(30) You are not a munchkin if you play a human enchanter.
You might be a munchkin if you play an elven invoker with the
maximum number of fireballs allowed.
You are a munchkin if you play a vampire
transmuter/necromancer/invoker/abjurer/enchanter/illusionist.

(31) You are not a munchkin if you wear chainmail+1.
You might be a munchkin if you wear platemail+10.
You are a munchkin if you prefer a tank to armor.

(32) You are not a munchkin if you flee from beholders.
You might be a munchkin if you launch acid arrows at beholders at
close range.
You are a munchkin if you launch ice storms at beholders at close
range.

(33) You are not a munchkin if you prefer leather armor over
chainmail.
You might be a munchkin if you cast detect magic on every armor
you have found.
You are a munchkin if you design a spell that tells you how many
plusses a magic suit of armor has.

(34) You are not a munchkin if you like improved invisibility spells.
You might be a munchkin if you prefer only 9th level spells.
You are a munchkin if you prefer to design your own 90th level
spells.

(35) You are not a munchkin if you think your party could destroy a
lich.
You might be a munchkin if you think you could beat a lich
singlehandedly.
You are a munchkin if you think you could beat a dracolich
singlehandedly.

(36) You are not a munchkin if you post messages about fighting
tarrasques on Usenet.
You might be a munchkin if you design a webpage on how to beat
tarrasques.
You are a munchkin if you can't figure how to get Usenet and WWW
over your Nintendo.

(37) You are not a munchkin if you like a good brawl with a group of
orcs on occasion.
You might be a munchkin if you enjoy a good brawl with a group of
vampires on occasion.
You are a munchkin if you get bored with brawling with a family
of shadow dragons.

(38) You are not a munchkin if you think Raistlin Majere is the
world's greatest mage.
You might be a munchkin if you think you are the world's greatest
mage.
You are a munchkin if you never really considered you might not
be the world's greatest mage.

(39) You are not a munchkin if your familiar is a frog.
You might be a munchkin if your familiar is a dragon.
You are a munchkin if your familiar is Nuitari.

(40) You are not a munchkin if you play AD&D with the core books only.
You might be a munchkin if you play AD&D with all the player and
DM option books.
You are a munchkin if you play AD&D with real weapons and LSD in
a steam tunnel.

(41) You are not a munchkin if your favorite magic item is your cloak
of elvenkind.
You might be a munchkin if your favorite magic item is your ring
of wishes.
You are a munchkin if your favorite magic items are all ten of
your Orbs of Dragonkind.

(42) You are NOT a Munchkin if your mage has a Spellbook
You MAY BE a Munchkin if your mage has several Spellbooks
You ARE a Munckin if your mage has Elminster's Spellbooks

Original source: ?

The Brazilian Death Squad

If you thought your gaming group was bad

The Seventh Night

It was dark and quiet. This is never a good combination, and is usually a sign that bad things are about to happen. This night would be no different.
A figure sat perched on the wall of the palace. The darkness veiled his tabard but could not conceal his eyes. The brown eyes peered out into the night, watching. He seemed like he was ready to leap at any moments from the shadows where he clearly belonged.
Then a faint sound pierced the silence that had comforted the night. It was caused by a rock tumbling ever so slightly from an abandoned building adjacent to the palace. Within a heartbeat the figure on the palace walls was gone, leaping from roof to roof. A second figure appeared in the night sky, springing up from the abandoned building. This one had caused the sound of the falling rock. And as his cover had been blown and a pursuer entered the equation, he started out in a dead run. The black-clad figure raced away from the scene of his unveiling and the creature from the shadows chased him over the rooftops. The one who had remained so silent in waiting, was now in full dash and started gaining on the assailant in black. But before he could gain, his prey jumped down and crashed into an unoccupied cart. The black-clad man rolled out of the debris and broke out in a flat run. His pursuer, still on the roof headed back in a different direction. The unknown assailant hurried through the streets, looking back but not seeing his pursuer. As he glanced back he saw the man in the tabard jump down from a nearby roof in front of him, tumbling to get up in one swift motion. As the figure in the tabard stood up, two daggers appeared in his hands. As this was a creature of the shadows, so were his daggers dark as black and they shimmered in a fleeting wind.
The black-clad figure just stopped in fear, savouring what he thought was his last few moments, but then decided that running seemed like a better option. He dashed away, straight into an alley. He didn’t look back anymore; he just wanted to get away. The alley ended and he ended up in a new street. Only here he was expected, ten palace guards awaited him with their swords drawn. The black-clad figure raised his hands in surrender as the figure in the tabard coming up behind him.
‘Don’t worry, we’ve got him, sir’ one of the guards said towards the newly arrived figure.
‘Good, search him’ he answered back. Feuntes swiped away some dust from his tabard, he probably could never get used to wearing the king’s colours. Even though it seamed only a while ago that he sailed across the world, having adventures in strange foreign countries, actually a few years had already passed. And now he was head of the palace guard, protecting the king with his life.
‘Sir’ the guard said as he handed over a yellow envelope just recovered from the black-clad figure. This is what Feuntes had feared. A number of murders had happened in Vaticine city over the past few days, each time a yellow envelope had been left. The envelope was empty but the message was clear. And now an assailant had tried to sneak into the palace carrying such an envelope.
‘Take him in for questioning’ Feuntes told the guards. He had enjoyed himself jumping over the roofs, chasing down the bad guys. But now it was time for more serious work. This is what he did now.

The Seventh Night commentary

Just a few notes about the post above this one.
This is a short story I wrote in under an hour about a character that I once had in a 7th roleplay. It was quite possibly one of my favourite characters and I felt a little sorry to retire him.
I have a new character in that campaign now, who will have to live up to the previous one. But I still wanted to make a sort of epilogue to the story of Fuentes (I actually also still need to write his background...). I'm not sure if I'll continue this story, depends kind of what I feel like writing.
I post the story here as I intended to use this blog as a kind of repository for short stories I write and some info about the campaigns I'm in. The other things are just fluff (though it seems to have grown in size).

I hope this story is the first in many.

What DnD character are you?

I've done a lot of these, but I've never found that calculated ability scores and level like this one.

I Am A: Lawful Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-11
Dexterity-13
Constitution-12
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-14
Charisma-12


For some reason I'm always Lawful Good in these things. But on top of that I'm a crappy sorcerer. (Cha 12? That's great... So I can cast lvl 2 spells? good that I'm only lvl 3 then...)

Take the test here


If you do take it, post your results in the comments. I'm curious to see what other people get out of this thing.

Dark Dungeons

For real?

On the one hand this seems extreme to be true, but then again...